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The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Family Instantly Regrets Agreeing to Spring Break in Manitoba This Year

April 1, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Kehlers of Abbotsford were on a plane back to the BC the moment they touched down in Winnipeg for so-called Spring Break. “Jauma, they’ve still got snow on the ground! And where […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Woman Experiences Embarrassing Bout of Garden Envy

November 10, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After a visit to Butchart Gardens on Vancouver Island this week, Mrs. Klassen, 83, of Abbotsford experienced mysterious new feelings she’d never felt before in her life. “I can’t say for certain, but […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Abbotsford or Chilliwack ‘White Spot’

September 22, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The Driedgers of Yarrow found themselves in quite the predicament this Sunday when they decided to venture down the highway for lunch and found far too many White Spots locations for them to […]

Unger Suspicion

BC Couple Super Proud of Their Lovely Brown Lawn this Year

July 24, 2021 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Always eager to show off their green thumbs, Mr. and Mrs. Driedger of Black Creek, British Columbia have been posting photos of their delightful dead grass throughout the summer. “Just look at […]

Unger & Thirst

New Abbotsford AHL Team to Be Named the Knackzoats

June 30, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC With the announcement this week that the Vancouver Canucks AHL affiliate is moving to Abbotsford, the choice of names was an easy decision for the team. “We’ve got the Vancouver Canucks and dan […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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