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Unger the Influence

British Columbia Still Counting their Vogts

October 21, 2024 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Elections BC released an initial Vogt count this weekend, but the full results will not be known until all the Vogts are counted. “I think there’s a whole bunch of Vogts in Abbotsford […]

The Daily Bonnet

Snowfall Finally Convinces Manitobans They Don’t Actually Live in BC

December 12, 2023 Andrew

CARMAN, MB Derek Loeppky of Carman, who had been living it up like a British Columbian for the past several months, was absolutely devastated this weekend to find out he actually lived in Manitoba. “There […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Love New Game Show ‘Frintschoft Feud’

November 19, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Ratings were through the roof this week after the Hieberts of Abbotsford appeared on the popular Family Feud game show. The appearance was so successful that the show’s producers have decided to create […]

Daily Bonnet

Manitoba to Repatriate All Mennonites Who Moved to BC

May 14, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new law will require all Mennonites who moved to BC in the last few decades to sell their million-dollar homes and take up residence over near Rosenort somewheres. “For years, we’ve seen […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Now in Charge of British Columbia

November 18, 2022 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC After having his name selected in the traditional Mennonite manner – by drawing lots – a man from Kitchener, Ontario by the name of David Eby is now Premier of British Columbia. “Well, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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