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baking

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Deliberately Leaves Out Essential Ingredient in Recipe

December 13, 2018 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Brandt of Chilliwack has often been asked to share her delicious recipes with others, but, so far, not a single person has been able to replicate her dishes. “I don’t know what […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Covered in Flour After Things Get Frisky in the Kitchen

December 6, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mom and Dad had some explaining to do after the Dueck children found them in a state of disrobe and completely covered in flour when they were dropped off at home by grandma. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Breaks Five Teeth on Oma’s Rock Hard Papanat

November 1, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Dick Brandt underwent emergency dental surgery this week after cracking four molars and an incisor on Oma Brandt’s notorious rock hard päpanät. “Diewel, Oma’s päpanät are hard yet,” exclaimed Mr. Brandt, […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments

June 6, 2018 Andrew

DENVER, CO A small church just outside of Denver, Colorado has voted overwhelmingly to add cake-baking to its list of holy sacraments. Starting this July, church members will be required to participate in baptism, communion, […]

Unger & Thirst

Buns Discovered in Mennonite Grandma’s Freezer Carbon Date to 5 Million Years Old

February 3, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB A bag full of frozen raisin buns discovered at the back of Grandma Wiebe’s freezer this past week were taken to a University of Alberta laboratory to undergo rigorous scientific testing including carbon […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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