The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

alcohol

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Meets His Buddies at the Pub for a Few Pints

August 17, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Heinrichs had a tough week and decided to ask his buddies Abe and Corny to go for a few pints at the local pub. Abe and Corny quickly agreed and so the […]

Unger Suspicion

American Tourist ‘Totally Wasted’ For the Rest of the Trip After Just One German Beer

July 19, 2019 Andrew

MUNICH, GERMANY Light beer enthusiast Mr. Johan Yoder of Lancaster decided to take a trip to Germany with his friends this summer. Yoder soon discovered, however, that his beer drinking skills were not up to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

June 11, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Returns His Empties

April 20, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After accumulating ten years worth of empties in his unfinished basement, local man Carl Toews, finally decided it was time to return them and get his 5 cent per bottle deposit. “Most Mennonites […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Buys a Round of Tap Water for the Whole Bar

March 11, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Allan Hostetler, 29, of Lancaster was feeling particularly generous at the bar last night and decided he’d order a round of tap water for the entire bar. “There were about thirty or forty […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 6 7 8 … 15 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Astronauts Return to Earth After 9 Months Trapped in Conversation at Mennonite Couple’s Doorway
    March 18, 2025
  • Balenciaga Releases New $2000 Shit-Covered Mennonite Rubber Boots
    May 20, 2024
  • ‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars
    February 23, 2020
  • Mennonite Town Holds Massive Parade to Honour Local Man Who Did the Dishes
    May 29, 2020
  • Top Five Ways to Fight Oma Krahn
    January 8, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved