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alcohol

Unger & Thirst

Prankster Leaves Cases of ‘Free Beer’ on Mennonite Doorsteps

September 9, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Home-owners across southern Manitoba were shocked to find cases of ‘free beer’ on their doorsteps this morning. Apparently, late last night some prankster decided to test out the theory of whether Mennonites would […]

Unger & Thirst

Morden Mennonites in Shock as Their Beloved Chicken Chef Now Fully Licensed

September 3, 2017 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Mennonites in the Morden area were in shock this past week as their beloved local Chicken Chef announced it was now a fully licensed restaurant. “Oba! I’m not sure we can leave the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Seeks to End Drinking or Driving

August 18, 2017 Andrew

BERLIN, OH The elder board at East Berlin Mennonite Church met this week to discuss the implementation of a few new rules regarding the operation of motor vehicles and/or the consumption of alcohol. The new […]

Unger & Thirst

Maid of Honour Toasts Bride With Glass of Water

May 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Guests at the Harder-Peters wedding this past weekend were busy enjoying a pleasant Mennonite meal in the church basement when it was time for the toasts to the bride and groom. “I’ve known Cynthia […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water

May 12, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Self-proclaimed miracle worker and sage Peter P. Peters wowed attendees at a Mennonite family gathering this past week by turning all of the wine into water. “I’d never seen anything like it,” said Abram […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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