The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

abes

The Daily Bonnet

“Don’t Put All Your Abes in One Basket”: 10 Mennonite Idioms

October 28, 2021 Andrew

Since the publication of Poor Obrum’s Almanack by Benjamin Friesen in 1732, these Abe-related idioms have become part of Mennonite discourse. They’re recited to children before bed and frequently overheard in conversation at MJ’s. Be warned, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Open Casting Call in Winkler for New ‘Planet of the Abes’ Movie

December 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abes across the Pembina Valley will be flocking to the parking lot at the EMBCC church this weekend to have a chance to take part in the new ‘Planet of the Abes’ movie. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Abes’ Opens in Mennonite Town

January 17, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The SPCA is expanding its reach by opening up a branch in the small Mennonite town of New Bothwell. The goal of the new society is to make sure area Abes are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Evolutionist Proves Mennonites are Descended from Abes

July 21, 2018 Andrew

DRUMHELLER, AB Scientists at the Friesen Academy of Science, Platz, and Aniseed (FASPA) have uncovered conclusive evidence that proves the evolution of Mennonites from our ancestors the Abes. “Sometime millions of years ago in the […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Church Sells New ‘What Would Jansen Do’ Bracelets
    April 21, 2019
  • Local Woman Declared Official Winner of The Mennonite Game
    November 17, 2017
  • Mennonites Gather at Relief Sale to Get their Hands on Fresh Tea Balls
    May 28, 2022
  • Dozens Injured in Annual Pilgrimage to Mennonite Landing Spot
    July 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Writer Stuck in Goshen After Missing Last Buggy Out of Town
    October 3, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved