The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

abe

Unger & Thirst

Local Abes Rush to Purchase Last Remaining Chocolate Letter A

January 4, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB When word got out that the Winkler Co-op had just one more chocolate letter A in stock, local Abes rushed to get their hands on it. “Diewel! Looks like Abe Kehler beat me […]

Unger Suspicion

Census Shows 96% of Canadian Men are Named Gord

July 1, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Statistics Canada has released the results of a brand new survey that shows that 95.7% of Canadian men sport the first name Gord. “Basically we went to the Yonge-Dundas Square and starting yelling […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Has Three Sisters Named Helen and Four Brothers Named Jake

April 20, 2022 Andrew

WYMARK, SK Local woman, Mrs. Letkeman was paging through her photo album this afternoon when it dawned on her that she had three sisters named Helen and four brothers named Jake. “Not to mention two […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Don’t Put All Your Abes in One Basket”: 10 Mennonite Idioms

October 28, 2021 Andrew

Since the publication of Poor Obrum’s Almanack by Benjamin Friesen in 1732, these Abe-related idioms have become part of Mennonite discourse. They’re recited to children before bed and frequently overheard in conversation at MJ’s. Be warned, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Open Casting Call in Winkler for New ‘Planet of the Abes’ Movie

December 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abes across the Pembina Valley will be flocking to the parking lot at the EMBCC church this weekend to have a chance to take part in the new ‘Planet of the Abes’ movie. […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Typo Turns Book Signing into Impromptu Musical Performance
    August 12, 2022
  • Local Farmer Abe Krahn Harvests the Wild Oats He Previously Sowed (Headline Contest #2 winner)
    February 11, 2023
  • What if Alexa was Mennonite?
    April 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Hunter Shoots and Eats Groundhog, No Spring This Year
    February 2, 2019
  • Find Out All the Data Nosy Mrs. Martens Has Collected About You
    April 15, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved