Congress Hire Mennonites to Shun George Santos


After voting to expel corrupt House Representative George Santos this week, Congress has recruited a few folks who were experts in using social rejection as a form of punishment – Mennonites.

“We don’t do this very often, so we decided to bring in a few Mennonites to help us out,” said House Ethics Committee member Susan Wild. “If anyone can make sure George Santos feels adequately rejected it’s the Mennonites.”

The Mennonites have been asked to stand outside Santos’ house and not even wave or smile or anything when he goes out for groceries.

“Plus, we’ve instructed them to invite everyone in Congress for Christmas dinner,” said Wild,  “except for George Santos, of course.”

The Mennonites were more than willing to help with the mission.

“We do this all the time, so it’s not a big deal for us,” said Pastor David. “If we can serve our country in this way, I’m all for it. I certainly prefer shunning George Santos to serving in the military.”

Thousands of Mennonites showed up for the job, eager to get a little shunning in before the new year.

“We had more shunners than we could use,” said Wild. “There was just a little bit of confusion. Apparently, a few of them were so keen to participate because they thought they were going to be shunning George Soros.”

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