City of Morden Ceases to Exist After Being Lumped Into Winkler Metro Area


The City of Morden is no more after being absorbed into the City of Winkler’s census agglomeration according to Statistics Canada.

“They’re not even calling it Morden-Winkler or Winkler-Morden,” said Morden resident Arthur Wiens. “For some reason they’ve dubbed the whole area simply Winkler (CA).”

The new Winkler (CA) has a population over 30,000 people, though Wiens doesn’t think its worth it being lumped in with Winkler just to pad the stats.

“Obviously they’re making these decisions purely based on our close proximity,” said Wiens, “but, come on, Stats Canada, you’ve got to at least recognize we have our own distinct culture.”

The Winkler Census Agglomeration also includes a whole bunch of farmland stretching miles away from the city itself.

“Something has got to change. This is ridiculous,” said Wiens. “Besides, I hear they don’t want us in their metro area as much as we don’t want them.”

McDonalds Worker is Only Going to Call Your Freakin’ Number One More Time Before She Just Eats it All Herself Already
Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly