The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

census

Unger the Influence

City of Morden Ceases to Exist After Being Lumped Into Winkler Metro Area

May 23, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER-MORDEN, MB The City of Morden is no more after being absorbed into the City of Winkler’s census agglomeration according to Statistics Canada. “They’re not even calling it Morden-Winkler or Winkler-Morden,” said Morden resident Arthur […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds

March 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to tax returns, residents of Steinbach, Manitoba tithe at a much higher rate than any other community in the country. “This is truly a generous community when it comes to paying pastors’ […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Population Set to Pass 8 Billion ‘Any Day Now’

August 18, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB According to a UN study, the Friesen population is projected to reach 8,000,000,000 within days. The Friesen Population Clock was at 7.97 billion this week and statisticians are on pins and needles waiting […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden to Pass Winkler in Population By the Year 2056

February 14, 2022 Andrew

MORDEN, MB At the current rate, Manitoba’s fastest growing city, Morden, will pass rival community Winkler in population by the year 2056, the same year that Mennonite astronauts are set to colonize Jupiter. “Just do […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Amazing Facts About Mennonites According to the 2021 Census

February 12, 2022 Andrew

Statistics Canada has just released the results of the 2021 census and there are many startling revelations about the country’s Mennonite population. Let’s have a look! Average Mennonite net worth: 73 acres of flax and […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • World Anabaptist Olympics Begin Today
    August 5, 2016
  • The Ontario Mennonite Quiz!
    August 8, 2019
  • Mennonite Mafia Now Accepting Applications for 2017 Drug-Smuggling Season
    January 17, 2017
  • 98% of Mennos Still Using a Landline
    March 3, 2019
  • Concerning New Mennonite Workplace Trend: Quiet Quilting
    April 2, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved