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The Daily Bonnet

Area Cyclists Shocked By the Presence of Pedestrians on the Sidewalk

July 21, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There is a growing community of cyclists across the city of Steinbach who have abandoned designated bicycle lanes in favour of riding their mountain bikes on the sidewalks. However, some area cyclists are now concerned […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Society of Letters Announces New ‘Fuela Reimer Literary Award’

July 20, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a press conference on Tuesday, a spokesperson from The Mennonite Society of Letters announced an inaugural literary award named in honour of Abraham ‘Fuela’ Reimer, a 19th century Russian Mennonite of some […]

Unger Suspicion

Quentin Tarantino to Direct Bloodiest Mennonite Film Ever

July 19, 2016 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Controversial film-maker Quentin Tarantino is in southern Manitoba this week scouting locations for his newest blockbuster Dueck Unchained. “I’ve always been fascinated by Mennonites,” said Tarantino. “One of the extras on Kill Bill […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Launches Kickstarter Campaign for Crokinole iPhone App

July 18, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB As increasing number of Mennonite seniors take to occupying their time with crokinole, local man Abe Kehler, is hoping to lure them over to a more modern version of the game. “You just knips the pieces […]

The Daily Bonnet

All the Jokes in Plautdietsch Bible are Lost in Translation

July 17, 2016 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO With the complete Old and New Testament now successfully translated into the Plautdietsch language, outsiders are having difficulty catching all the jokes. “My oma and opa will read something from the Book of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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