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The Daily Bonnet

How to Tell if a Mennonite is Flirting With You

April 2, 2017 Andrew

As a young Mennonite man I always had trouble figuring out whether Annie or Martha or Bertha was actually interested in me. Just ask my friend Johan. I used to spend hours pestering him with […]

Unger Suspicion

Satire Sites to Post Real News Today

April 1, 2017 Andrew

MADISON, WI On April 1, satirical websites around the world take a break from their regular schedule of posting sarcastic or hyperbolic news and, for this one day, post real news items instead. “It’s really nice […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Faces Blasphemy Charges After Putting Ketchup on Perogies

April 1, 2017 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Retired bricklayer, Barney Plett of Waterloo, was arraigned on a wide variety of charges including ‘espionage’, ‘defacing public property’, and ‘attempted murder,’ after photographic evidence suggested he lathered his cottage cheese vereneki in a […]

Unger & Thirst

Fraser Valley Mennonites Survive Winter on Nothing but Raspberry Preserves

March 31, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mennonite across the Fraser Valley have made it through yet another winter thanks to their bountiful supply of raspberry and strawberry preserves. “Thank the Lord that my grandma taught me canning,” said local woman Alexis Friesen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Kornelsen School Reunion Sparks Old Flames

March 30, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The old Kornelsen School, which was open in Steinbach from 1914-1964, held a reunion this past week for former students. The lone attendees at the reunion were Betsy Friesen and Art Toews, who originally met […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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