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Unger & Thirst

Massive Amounts of Halva Left Over Yet Again This Year

December 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For some odd reason, the mysterious sandy substance known as halva has become a Mennonite delicacy every Christmas. Yet, like always, Grandma Loewen vastly over-estimated the grandkids’ desire to eat the dry paste. “Juama […]

Quizzes

Quiz: Daily Bonnet Headline or Real News Article

December 25, 2016 Andrew

Merry Christmas, everyone! We’ve created a fun quiz for you to play at your Christmas gatherings. Perhaps you’re a little exhausted from all the chaos and need a few minutes alone, so you’ve snuck off […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Arrested for Saying ‘Merry Christmas’

December 24, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Every Mennonite’s biggest fear came true this past week, as an elderly man from rural Manitoba ventured into Winnipeg on a holiday shopping spree and innocently greeted each person he met with a hearty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Surly Mennonite Man Plans to Ruin Christmas for All the Children at Church Tonight

December 24, 2016 Andrew

TANNENAU, MB A zealous Mennonite man at the local EMBBM church will be taking time out of his busy schedule of handing out tracts to strangers at the mall, to stop and tell each and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

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