Yosemite Sam Gives Up His Guns, Plans to Attend Anabaptist Seminary this Fall


Longtime gun-totter Yosemite Sam just announced he’s laying down his arms and plans to enroll in the seminary at nearby Fresno Pacific University this fall.

“It was a Road to Damascus moment for me,” said Yosemite Sam, who now prefers to be called Fresno Frank. “Except in my case the whole thing took place on East Butler Avenue…”

Once world-renowned for his aggressive and erratic gun-handling, Yosemite Sam claims he has “seen the light” and will now dedicate his remaining days to spreading the gospel message of peace and love.

“I’m not sure what kind of dress code they’ve got there at the university,” said Sam, “but I’m even willing to shave down my whiskers if that’s what it takes.”

Elmer Fudd is reported to have had a similar conversion experiences, and both Elmer and Sam are hoping to settle down with some nice Janzen girls by the time they graduate with their Master of Divinity degrees.

(photo credit: Wikipedia/Fair use)

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