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Unger & Thirst

A List of Mennonite Fortune Cookie Messages

January 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A Chinese restaurant in the Steinbach area is offering a local twist on the traditional fortune cookie. Instead of general message of good fortune, the cookies will now contain more distinctly Mennonite fortunes. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ever Notice How the MCC Logo Looks Exactly Like the State of Texas?

January 22, 2018 Andrew

Something’s going on here. I’m not sure what it is. But for some reason our beloved Mennonite Central Committee has been using a logo that’s shaped exactly like the state of Texas. And this has […]

Unger & Thirst

Ancient Zwieback Recipe Discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls

January 22, 2018 Andrew

HAIFA, ISRAEL Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the […]

Unger Suspicion

Singer Ed Sheeran Engaged to Every Woman Who Ever Yelled “Marry Me, Ed” at One of His Concerts

January 22, 2018 Andrew

SUFFOLK, UK According to British law, mellow pop singer Ed Sheeran is legally engaged to more than 12,000 women who have yelled, “marry me,” at his concerts over the years. Among the lucky young women […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Left Waiting Awkwardly at the Table for Mennonite Couple to Finish Praying

January 21, 2018 Andrew

FARGO, ND Poor Diana, a third year NDSU student and part-time server at Chili’s, was left standing at the table for half an hour holding a Mix & Match trio of steak, shrimp and chicken […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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