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Unger Conviction

Why All Mennonite Families Hold Hands While Praying

June 10, 2018 Andrew

Catholics make the sign of the cross, Baptists kneel by their bedsides, and Pentecostals speak in tongues. But when it comes to prayer, Mennonites distinguish themselves by grasping firmly to the sweaty hand of the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Stuck in Downward Dog

June 9, 2018 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local woman and novice yoga practitioner Sarah Martens, 31, was unable to get herself out of the downward dog position at class last week. After an hour of trying to maneuver herself into […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Watches ‘Black Panther’, Can’t Figure Out Which One Is Peter Sellers

June 8, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Local woman Dorothy Yoder, 68, was very excited to sit down with her husband Earl this past Friday and watch ‘Black Panther’ on DVD, but says, although she thoroughly enjoyed the film, she […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Man Takes His Mexican Cousin to ‘Authentic Hole-in-the-Wall’

June 8, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Unlike their counterparts in the United States and Canada, the Mennonites of Mexico don’t get what the big deal is about fast food Americanized tacos. Waldemar Krahn, for example, came up to Manitoba to […]

Unger Games

Vegas Knights to Fold and Be Replaced With Massive ‘Game of Thrones’ Show

June 7, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After just one year in Sin City, the Vegas Knights have decided to hang up their skates and focus on something they’re good at: Game of Thrones themed pre-game shows. “I just […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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