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Unger Games

Saskatchewan Roughriders Claim Victory in 2020 Labour Day Classic

September 5, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK The Covid-canceled 2020 CFL season gave the Saskatchewan Roughriders the chance to go undefeated for the first time in franchise history, including a stunning defeat over the Blue Bombers in this year’s unplayed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Chance to Work on Your Farmer’s Tan this Weekend

September 4, 2020 Andrew

KENORA, ON Mennonites across the Canadian Prairies will be taken advantage of the long weekend to work on their farmer’s tans this weekend. It’s the last chance they have to do so until the cold […]

The Daily Bonnet

Canada’s Top Doc Encourages Mennonites to Wear Masks During Meddachschlop

September 3, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Canada’s top doctor is “strongly encouraging” Mennonites to wear medical-grade masks during meddachschlop, especially if you’re sharing a nap space with someone who isn’t a first or second cousin. “If this is your […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gambler Wins Big By Betting on Mennonite UFC Fighter

September 2, 2020 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Centuries of pent-up aggression have been released in UFC rings this season as the Yoders and other Mennonites seem to be totally dominating their opponents. “I know it seems counter-intuitive, but I’ve won […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Family Plans Exotic Vacation in Morden this Summer

September 1, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Since international travel remains a no-go this year, Winkler family, the Schroeders, have decided to go someplace they’ve never been to before, that being the neighbouring community of Morden. “We’ve been to Playa […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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