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The Daily Bonnet

Engaged Woman Struggles to Keep from Farting in Front of Her Fiancé

June 8, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB With his three weeks to go before the wedding, Sandra Kliewer is struggling to prevent herself from farting in front of her soon-to-be husband. “We started dating a year ago, so it’s been […]

Unger Games

Fans Shocked as PGA Tour Merges with Mennonite Cornhole League

June 7, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE The news sent shockwaves across the sporting world this afternoon, after it was announced that the PGA Tour would be merging with their longtime rival Mennonite Cornhole League. “It was a long hard […]

Headline Contest

Annual ‘Best Borscht Breath’ Championship Draws Massive Crowd for 9th Consecutive Year (Headline Contest #6 winner)

June 6, 2023 Andrew

Congrats to this week’s winner Evan Morgan! Each week The Unger Review will provide a photo in need of a headline. At the end of the week the top 3 headlines, as selected by The […]

Unger & Thirst

For Dessert Today? Sugar Cubes Dipped in Coffee

June 5, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Delicious zuckastetja were on full display this Sunday afternoon at the annual GCEMC faspa/funeral and Mennonites throughout the region flocked to get their hands on the prized treat. “No plautz for me,” said Mr. […]

Unger Conviction

Joel Osteen Fans are Literally Wearing Adult Diapers so they Don’t Miss a Second of His Three-Hour Sermons

June 4, 2023 Andrew

HOUSTON, TX Hardcore Osteen-devotees have taken to Instagram to share a tried-and-true solution to make sure they don’t miss even a second of the service at Lakewood Church. Their solution? Adult diapers. “I may get […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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