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Unger Suspicion

Mickey Mouse Learns Plautdietsch to Accommodate All the Mennonites at Disney World Right Now

March 28, 2023 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL With a bevy of cheap flights sending Mennonites to Florida this week, residents of Disney World have been brushing up on their Plautdietsch, not to mention the theme park’s record-setting order of roll […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confuses Wendy’s Ketchup Cup for Communion

March 27, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Steve Wiens, 40, was very excited to pump his own ketchup at the local Wendy’s restaurant this week, especially given that it was Communion Sunday. “Oh look, communion cups!” proclaimed Wiens, […]

Unger Suspicion

City of Winnipeg Seeks to Modernize Rapid Transit System

March 26, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After years of lagging behind other comparable cities, Winnipeg has finally decided it’s time to modernize its rapid transit system by hiring rusty pickup trucks to take passengers up and down Henderson Highway. […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds

March 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to tax returns, residents of Steinbach, Manitoba tithe at a much higher rate than any other community in the country. “This is truly a generous community when it comes to paying pastors’ […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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