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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby

October 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB As soon as the residents of Golden Mennos Retirement Home saw on their lobby-cams that someone had dropped off free eggplants, there was a wild dash to the lobby. “Argh, Mrs. Kroeker always […]

The Daily Bonnet

Slow-Moving Mennonite Backs Up Traffic on the Yellowhead for Miles

October 9, 2023 Andrew

FOAM LAKE, SK Dave Epp was somewhere halfway between Saskatoon and Winnipeg this weekend, when he realized that for some strange reason there was a trail of cars behind him. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Pacifist Mennonite Woman Reluctant to Use Flyswatter

October 8, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s that time of year again. Flies. Everywhere. However, for area woman Erin Stobbe, 51, the little pests are something of a blessing. “I believe in non-violence,” said Stobbe. “Who am I to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving

October 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lois Unger, 41, of Steinbach was mesmerized by the wide array of seasonal decorations at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this week and plastered her house with her holiday-themed purchases. “Ahhh, I just […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Pastor Pulled After Just 47 Pitches

October 5, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Despite being less than five minutes into his Sunday morning sermon, Pastor Barry was pulled from the service and replaced with a left-handed pastor. “I can’t figure out why Elder Schneider came to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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