‘Menno’s Rights Activists’ Burn Their Suspenders in Massive Bonfire


In honour of International Mennos Day, thousands of Menno’s Rights Activists have been gathering in church basements around the world today to bring awareness to the “shackles placed on Mennonite men by an oppressive society.”

In this case, those shackles are, quite literally, the suspenders on their backs. One event in Abbotsford saw almost a hundred Menno’s Rights Activists burn their suspenders in the parking lot of the EMBBC Church.

“Down with suspenders!” shouted Mr. Loewen flinging his suspenders onto the pile. “And down with beards. I can’t really grow a proper one anyway yet!”

In addition to facial hair and suspenders, the group has highlighted many additional challenges that they claim are unique to Mennonite men, such as health issues arising from years of unprotected contact with cow manure.

“Oba, I don’t tink people realize how hard it is for us Mannanite men yet,” said Mr. Loewen. “How about if we switch with the women for once and see how they like it?”

Local Mennonite women said they didn’t that idea was half bad and were immediately enthusiastic about the proposal.

“I’m sure the quality of roll kuchen would decline a little,” said Mrs. Fehr, “but the sermons would get a lot better, let me tell you.”

At press time, a committee made up entirely of men is studying the issue.

(photo credit: seanfoneill/CC)

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