The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

addiction

Unger Suspicion

Area Man to Play Just One More Game of Tetris

August 5, 2021 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Local man Earl Bergmann, 47, of Omaha has been playing “just one more game of Tetris” since he got that Nintendo Entertainment System during Christmas 1989. “Just one more game, Mom, just one […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Totally Hooked on Bubble Wrap

July 27, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Ens was super excited for all the crap her husband Dan’s been ordering online these days since it means she can spend her evenings sitting with her feet up on the patio […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Becomes ‘Completely Hooked’ on the Pink Stuff

August 12, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mr. Bergman of Blumenhof has been undergoing intensive counseling with the pastor this week after it was discovered he had an unhealthy obsession with the pink stuff on formavorscht ever since he discovered […]

Unger Suspicion

Millennial Receives Medical Attention to Extract Smartphone from Hand

November 8, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA 23-year-old Eastern Mennonite University student Cara Witmer underwent emergency surgery on Monday to remove an iPhone 6s, which had been lodged in her left hand since late 2015. “It was touch and go […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Local Man Forgets to Remove Nikes Before Burning Them
    September 10, 2018
  • Mennonite Man’s Long List of Chores Still Not Done
    May 22, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet
    July 3, 2022
  • Church Launches New Program: ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Staying All Night?’
    May 7, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Sours the Mood at Local Funeral by Hoarding All the Pickles and Decaf
    October 24, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved