Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply


Local woman Maria Dueck, 43, estimates she’s saved her family more than five thousand dollars this year by turning her two-ply toilet paper into one. As a mother of twelve growing children and a husband who routinely uses more than his fair share of Cottonelle, Mrs. Dueck goes through quite a lot of toilet paper in a year and is not one to allow unnecessary luxuries like a second ply.

“If you’re careful not to press your fingers through the paper, one-ply will do you just fine,” said Dueck. “If any of the children complain about the lack of comfort that one-ply toilet paper provides, I simply remind them that back in my day we used pages torn from the Eatons catalogue!”

Dueck had trouble, however, convincing her husband Earl to get on board with the new plan.

“I once busted in on him and caught him folding over the toilet paper, sometimes two or three times, yet,” said Dueck. “I let him know in no uncertain terms that we are a single-ply family and any attempt to skirt the rules by stacking or wadding up the paper will be met with swift penalties!”

Mrs. Dueck plans to stand guard outside the washroom and hand out individual squares to make sure no one is abusing the system.

“I’m also making sure no one wastes energy by running the fan too long,” said Dueck. “It’s a shame, but I think sometimes the kids get so used to modern luxuries like bathroom fans and two-ply paper that they forget our Mennonite heritage and traditions.”

With all the money saved by doubling her toilet paper supply, Mrs. Dueck plans to leave her family behind and take a nice trip to Cancun with a couple of her church friends.

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