Mennonite Man Keeps Fork, Dessert Doesn’t Come


Local man Peter Wiebe was left sitting there with a fork in his hand for a full hour before he realized dessert simply wasn’t on its way.

“I even licked it off so the schmaunt fat and sausage residue wouldn’t taint the platz,” said Wiebe. “But, alas, there was no platz. I feel like a fool.”

Wiebe had learned through years of experience to keep his fork after Sunday dinner because dessert always followed, but apparently Mrs. Wiebe felt Peter needed to cut back a little.

“He can sit there with a fork in his hand for as long as he wants, it won’t change the fact he needs to lose forty pounds,” said Mrs. Wiebe. “Oh, and licking it doesn’t help. He still isn’t getting any dessert.”

Wiebe tried everything to make the dessert appear – squeezing the fork, grasping it with two hands, waving it around like a magic wand – but no matter what he did, the dessert never arrived.

“This is the most disappointing fork-keeping experience I’ve ever had,” said Wiebe. “To be honest, I’m a little traumatized. I’ve lost all faith in fork-keeping.”

Wiebe also learned the hard way that cleaning off your plate does not guarantee the arrival of seconds.

(photo credit: Paul Townsend/CC)

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