Mennonite Couple Still Late for Church Despite Extra Hour of Sleep


Despite have an entire hour extra sleep last night, the Koops of Mountain Lake were late for church and had to sneak up to the balcony where hopefully the elders wouldn’t notice.

“Nah, those Koops. The Lord gives them a whole extra hour and what do they do with it? Squander it playing Scrabble I bet!” said Elder Wiens. “The Scriptures clearly say that the service must begin promptly at 10:30 and anyone who isn’t in their seats at that time has to stay behind afterwards and clean up all the Cheerios that fall beneath the pews. I think it says that in the Corinthians somewhere.”

The Koops pulled up onto the lot at 10:43 and the congregation had already sung two hymns and a responsive reading.

Jauma! Those Koops are a disgrace!” said Elder Wiens. “There are a lot of the things we turn a blind eye to–gossiping, social drinking, Elder Voth’s squandering of the church gymnasium fund–but we cannot abide coming thirteen minutes late. Especially not on time change Sunday!”

In order to maintain their church membership, the Koops spent all afternoon on their hands and knees picking up after the toddlers, though they were immediately scolded for working on a Sunday and were forced to clean up between the pillows in the youth room every evening this week.

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