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punishment

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Still Late for Church Despite Extra Hour of Sleep

November 3, 2019 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Despite have an entire hour extra sleep last night, the Koops of Mountain Lake were late for church and had to sneak up to the balcony where hopefully the elders wouldn’t notice. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

April 22, 2018 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Raw Onions 30% More Effective than Castor Oil to Prevent Swearing

April 24, 2017 Andrew

TABER, AB A new study out of the University of Southern Alberta has shown that forcing rebellious Mennonites to eat large quantities of raw onions is significantly more effective at preventing swearing than making them drink castor […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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