Mannanites Axcited for New Fast & Furious Movie: Main Street Steinbach Edition!


Young Mannanite dads love to shirk their responsibilities at home and drive their Honda Civics and Mazda 3s down Main Street Steinbach all the time yet once. Their ability to maneuver used Japanese cars with tinted windows past Reimer and Kroeker Avenue has drawn the attention of Hollywood producers.

“We’ve filmed in New York, in Toyko, and all over Europe, but finally we’re bringing it all back home to the place where “schwaa laps” were invented: Steinbach, Manitoba!” said film producer F. Gary Gary. “Not only do they have slightly modified Hondas and Mazdas but they also have a number of loud dirty pickup trucks that will add to the atmosphere.”

Getting Steinbach cruisers on camera was really important for Gary, who’s also hoping he can snag footage of a drug deal or maybe a few photos of one of the frequent crashes into one of the Main Street businesses.

“But most importantly, we’re going to get tonnes of footage of locals waiting out the cops on one of the Main Street parking lots!” said Gary. “Let me tell you, this is going to be the best Fast & Furious movie yet!”

In order to achieve the utmost accuracy, the series will be retitled Not All that Fast & Furious at the Gas Prices. A Winkler addition to the series is also scheduled for 2022.

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