Local Pastor Offers Mennonite Hangover Cures


In his morning sermon, a local pastor at Steinbach’s EMBM church is providing his congregants with sage advice to overcome holiday hangovers.

“I’m a practical man,” said Pastor Tim. “I’m giving the people what they want to hear. After last night, it’s also what they need to hear.”

Pastor Tim has uncovered little-known pages from a rare first edition of the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook that contained numerous helpful hangover cures.

“Toast or crackers are a common hangover cure, but for Mennonites I recommend dried-out reischa bread,” said Pastor Tim. “I also suggest large quantities of cabbage borscht as it contains an ample supply of Vitamin B.”

The pastor then handed out a pamphlet of various Hair of the Dog recipes.

“Pass these around, please. On page three, I’ve got a really killer variation on the classic White Russian,” said the pastor. “It’s got dandelion wine in it rather than vodka. I call it the White Russian Mennonite.”

Unfortunately for Pastor Tim most of the people who really needed to hear his advice didn’t show up to church this morning.

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