Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’


Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is still permitted.

“We thought it was time to clean up Grand Beach,” said Manitoba Beach Administrator Dale Daleson. “Too many families with urinating babies and European men in speedos. Something had to be done.”

As of July 1, the entirety of the 24,000 square kilometre surface area of Lake Winnipeg will be doused with a secret dye that turns bright blue when it comes into contact with urine.

“It will be very embarrassing for a lot of swimmers…not to mention a few fish,” said Daleson. “But that’s just the price you pay if you urinate in Lake Winnipeg!”

Environmentalists have praised the new law, saying that now all they have to do is convince Manitoba’s largest corporations to stop dumping their garbage in the lake.

(photo credit: Alper Cugun/CC)

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