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beach

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Bares More than Just Arms at St. Malo

August 7, 2020 Andrew

ST. MALO, MB Mr. Fehr, 62, of Kleefeld decided the family needed a nice afternoon at the beach, so he filled the trunk with zoat and headed off for St. Malo beach. “Oba, but when […]

Unger Suspicion

Idiot Spring Breakers Force Sharks to Take Matters Into Their Own Hands

March 20, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After tens of thousands of irresponsible “dude bros” disregarded health officials and decided that the pandemic wasn’t going to stop them from partying and spreading the disease to their elderly relatives, local sharks […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Beached on the Shores of Lake Winnipeg

August 11, 2018 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB A 43-year-old man from over by Reinland somewheres was found beached on the shores of Lake Winnipeg this weekend. Thankfully locals were able to keep him hydrated with Rogers Golden Syrup while […]

Unger Suspicion

Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’

July 7, 2018 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cindy Klassen Spotted Wearing Skates at Beach

August 2, 2017 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Legendary Olympic speed-skater Cindy Klassen took to the waters at Grand Beach this past week wearing the same pair of speed-skates she wore when she won 5 medals at the 2006 Turin […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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