First Mennonite Church Shall Become Last


In an effort to appear more humble the First Mennonite Church of Rosenhof is changing its name to the Last Mennonite Church of Rosenhof.

“We’re proud of how humble we are,” said Pastor Tim, “and this is just one more to way to show to the community that we Mennonites will always be at the top when it comes to self-righteousness.”

The Last Mennonite Church of Rosenhof is hoping the name change will cause a surge in attendance.

“Take your pick – you want the First Baptist or First Presbyterian or do you want the Last Mennonite?” said Pastor Tim. “We know our Bible: the last shall be first and the first shall be last.”

The name change apparently does not apply to parking spots as Pastor Tim still has a reserved spot in a prime location next to the doors.

“There’s a limit to all this humility,” said Pastor Tim. “When we call the tables for faspa, the best tithers will always get called first. I think that’s a pretty reasonable deal.”

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