Mourners Devastated After Mennonite Funeral Runs Short on Raisin Buns


Thousands of Mennonites were expecting to gorge on raisin buns at the Wiebe funeral this past week, but were left “completely devastated” after the organizers ran out of their supply after just one serving.

“The mood sure dampened when they ran out of raisin buns,” said Mrs. Thiessen. “It had been a festive atmosphere, but that all changed pretty quick!”

When the second round of buns came by and funeral-goers started to realize they were just regular white buns, the Wiebe funeral really took a turn.

“Oba, I don’t want to be a downer, but we’re out of raisin buns,” said funeral volunteer Mrs. Klassen. “I’m really sorry. I know how much these raisin buns meant to you. They were close to me, too. I’m really sorry to see them go.”

Soon a slide show featuring photographs of various raisin buns over the years, accompanied by Christian praise music, was being projected on the walls of the church gymnasium.

“It’s good to mourn like this,” said Mrs. Thiessen. “The loss of the raisin buns is going to be hard on all of us, but these raisin buns will live on forever in our memories.”

Noticing the increasingly agitated and distraught crowd, Pastor Dave addressed the audience with a few word of consolation.

“Friends, we do not grieve without hope,” said Pastor Dave. “Someday there will be another funeral and on that glorious day we can hope and pray that the organizers will be better prepared with more raisin buns. Amen.”

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the South Blumenort Raisin Bun Procurement Fund.

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