“Greta’s Been Coached,” Says Politician Who Doesn’t Even Write His Own Speeches


Local politician and die-hard anti-Greta activist Willie Ford took to Twitter this week to discount everything Thunberg has ever said on the basis that she may have rehearsed once or twice before making the biggest speech of her life.

“I really think you should doubt everything she says,” said the marketing team who run Ford’s social media. “She really can’t be trusted if she’s ever received a word of advice from anyone ever, right?”

Ford then held a press conference in which he further launched an ad hominem strike on the Swedish teen.

“I mean, come on, now, does anyone really believe she’s sincere?” said Ford, in a speech written by a team of writers in an office somewhere. “She sure seems like an actor to me.”

In his speech, which was printed off on petroleum industry letterhead, Ford wondered aloud just who was funding this Greta anyway.

“Everyone should focus on who is funding Greta,” read Ford. “That way no one will ever ask just who is funding my re-election campaign.”

Ford ended his speech by thanking his team of high-paid ghostwriters, kissing a baby (which turned out to be a plastic doll) and taking off in a chauffeur-driven limousine.

(photo credit: ulricaloeb/CC)

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