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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate

October 1, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger Suspicion

Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year

September 23, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN In its boldest seasonal projection yet, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting that autumn 2020 will be followed swiftly by winter 2020, which will carry over into early 2021 and be followed by […]

Unger Games

Saskatchewan Roughriders Claim Victory in 2020 Labour Day Classic

September 5, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK The Covid-canceled 2020 CFL season gave the Saskatchewan Roughriders the chance to go undefeated for the first time in franchise history, including a stunning defeat over the Blue Bombers in this year’s unplayed […]

Unger Suspicion

American Universities to Shut Down and Be Replaced With Nothing But YouTube and Memes

August 28, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC American universities will be shuttering their doors this week as people flock to much more reliable sources of knowledge: random crap found on the Internet. Rather than being educated by qualified experts in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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