TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]
MOOSE JAW, SK In a coronation ceremony held in Moose Jaw this afternoon, legendary moustachioed musician Burton Cummings ascended to the Canadian throne. The move means the new $50 bill will now feature a late […]
LONDON, UK It’s the biggest scandal so far of his reign. Yes, indeed. New photographic evidence suggests King Charles III’s fingers bear an uncanny resemblance to Mennonite farmer sausage. “I’m not sure why we didn’t […]
WINNIPEG, MB Big news in the hockey world this week as local mom’s basement-dweller Al Kroeker, 38, of Winnipeg has just been appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets for the upcoming season. “It looks like […]
OTTAWA, ON Politicians across Canada are so heartbroken over the death of Her Majesty that they’ve decided that what they really need is a nice long weekend while everyone else is working. “Ahh, it sure […]
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