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Unger Suspicion

Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Spends Delightful Holiday Weekend on Toronto Tarmac

December 28, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Thiessens were all packed up and ready to visit their relatives in Manitoba this week, but decided at the last minute to spend the entire week on a lovely Toronto tarmac instead. […]

Unger Games

Ovechkin Gifts Putin with Record-Setting Puck

December 27, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA Just moments after an empty net goal put him second all-time in career goals, Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin tossed the historic puck into a manila envelope, slapped on a couple stamps, and mailed […]

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

Unger Suspicion

Child Confuses Amazon Driver for Santa Claus

December 22, 2022 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Little Timmy Plett of Rosthern has been losing sleep in anticipation of the upcoming gift-giving season. In fact, when the Amazon truck pulled up the Plett yard last night, Timmy ran out in […]

Unger Suspicion

Poll: Should Elon Musk Take Over The Daily Bonnet?

December 21, 2022 Andrew

Waut es met die? This poll is absolutely binding. Whatever you say goes. It’s a democracy. Just like a Mennonite elder board meeting. So the question is – should Elon Musk be given full control […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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