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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Philadelphia Flyers Shore Up Blue Line By Signing Patriarch Kirill of Moscow

January 19, 2023 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA In a surprise move this afternoon, the Broad Street Bullies have inked Patriach Kirill of Moscow to play alongside Ivan Provorov and Gritty on the blue line. “We felt that young Provorov just […]

Unger Suspicion

Regina and Saskatoon Merge to Attract IKEA and a Hockey Team

January 16, 2023 Andrew

RESASKAGINA, SK Two medium-sized cities in Saskatchewan some 300 kms apart are planning to merge into one slightly larger city in an effort to attract an IKEA and maybe even an NHL team. “We can […]

Unger Suspicion

Stash of Spare Prince Harry Books Donated to Local Thrift Store

January 14, 2023 Andrew

FERSCHT HEINRICH, SK A huge of stash of spare Prince Harry books were dropped off at the local thrift store this afternoon. “Yeah, what can I say. I guess the bookstore had a few extras,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food

January 13, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Republicans are up in arms this week as the Biden administration is reportedly considering banning “gassy Mennonite food like schmaunt fat, formavorscht, and all those fried onions they like to put on the […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Discovered Hidden Behind Her Englisher Husband’s Surname

January 8, 2023 Andrew

HOCHSTEIN, MB When Sarah Smith, 27, moved to Hochstein from the city this year to run the coffee shop, locals were immediately impressed by the “authentic Englisher” they now had living in their midst. “Smith […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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