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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Smoke Detector Battery Conveniently Programmed to Expire and Chirp Loudly at 2 in the Morning

December 5, 2023 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB After five years of hard work keeping the family safe, a 9V battery in the Loewen home over in Mitchell is set to conveniently expire and chirp incessantly starting at about 2 this […]

Unger Suspicion

Royal Canadian Mint Brings Back the Penny Just to Have Some Place to Put King Charles

November 14, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems the long-forgotten penny is of some use after all. This afternoon, the Royal Canadian Mint announced they’d be bringing back the one-cent coin just so they’d have some place to put […]

Unger Suspicion

Five Nights at Frida’s is Scariest Mennonite Movie Ever

November 12, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Fans piling out of the theatre in La Crete, Alberta this week have declared Five Nights at Frida’s the scariest Mennonite movie ever made. “It’s about a young boy who has to spend […]

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Man Mortgages House to Pay for Bruce Springsteen Tickets

November 7, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After hundreds of people called a fictional woman in a satirical article “stupid” for mortgaging her house to buy Taylor Swift tickets, satirist Andrew Unger decided to see if the same reaction would […]

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Woman Mortgages House to Pay for Taylor Swift Tickets

November 5, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC As soon as Taylor Swift announced her upcoming Vancouver shows, area woman Megan Berg was on the phone with the loans department at her local credit union. “The house is worth 2.3 million, […]

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