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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Vacationing Couple to Spend the Next Two Weeks Standing in Lines All Over Europe

August 5, 2024 Andrew

NEUSCHWANSTEIN, GERMANY The Fehrs of Altona, Manitoba have been saving up for the past three years for their once-in-lifetime chance to stand in lines all over Europe. “Melissa does all the planning,” said Steve. “She’s […]

Unger Suspicion

“Man does not live by bread alone”: Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Quotes Jesus to Defend Price-Fixing Scheme

July 25, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After a court ruling found the company guilty of bread price-fixing, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston cited the words of Jesus in defence of the company’s actions. “Man does not live by bread alone,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature

July 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eight years of wedded bliss is all over for the Epps of North Kildonan this week, after an apparent marriage-ending fight over the AC temperature. “She wanted it at 23, while I prefer […]

Unger Suspicion

Pipeline to Supply Calgary With Toronto Water

July 17, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON More than $12 billion will be spent to repurpose an old oil pipeline to send excess water from flooded Toronto all the way out to Calgary where they need it. “It’s about time […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Woman to Spend Entire Summer Posting Pictures of Her Feet

July 14, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB In an effort to show that she is truly relaxed and enjoying the season, area woman Ruth Wiens, 47, is planning to post pictures of her feet and/or legs every evening for the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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