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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Car Manages to Stay Clean for a Record Two Minutes After Leaving Car Wash

March 15, 2024 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Area woman Diane Fuchs has set a Western Manitoba record this afternoon after managing to keep her CR-V clean for a full two minutes and 14 seconds after leaving the car wash. “It […]

Unger Suspicion

Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth

March 14, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Disgusted by her use of a private jet, protestors are demanding that pop star Taylor Swift confine all travel to an old rusty Plymouth. “Got to get from Tokyo to Las Vegas […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Selects Taylor Swift to Take Home Best Picture at the Grammy’s Tonight

March 10, 2024 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA The stars are arriving in Hollywood tonight for the 96th annual Grammy Awards. For Mrs. Martens of Saskatoon, this means she’ll be frantically trying to fill out her ballot. “It’s hard to […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Announces New Album: ‘Tortured Mennonite Poets Department’

March 3, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Pop sensation Taylor Swift is venturing into new territory on her forthcoming 11th album – tortured Mennonite poets. “Of all the poets out there, I think the Mennonite poets are the most […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Breaks Longstanding Vow Never to Leave the City with Visit to Pool in Steinbach

March 2, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Winnipeg woman Anne Pankratz has been perfectly content with her suburban Winnipeg lifestyle, never needing to leave the city for any reason whatsoever. That is until she found out about the existence of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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