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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Presents from Santa Delayed Until March this Year

November 27, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Millions of Canadians have resorted to deceiving their children this Christmas. And not in the usual way like telling them that Santa exists. This year, parents have had to turn back the calendars […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter

November 25, 2024 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Area man Moses Schwartzentruber has led a large group of Mennonites off of Twitter in search of bluer skies. The exodus began after pleading with Pharoah Elon to stop being such an ass […]

Unger Suspicion

Gentlemen’s Club Shockingly Bereft of Any Gentlemen

November 24, 2024 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Anthropologists were shocked to discover a complete lack of gentlemen at a so-called “gentlemen’s” club in an industrial park in Omaha this week. “Maybe it was just an off night,” said investigator Anne […]

Unger Suspicion

Phone Companies Reassure Canadians Exorbitant Bills Still Due During Postal Strike

November 21, 2024 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Millions of Canadians breathed a sigh of relief this week after they found out their devilishly-high phone bills would still arrive at their doorsteps like usual. “Don’t you worry your pretty little hearts […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Swifties to Exchange ‘Frintschoft’ Bracelets this Weekend

November 16, 2024 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Dozens of Mennonite Swifties have defied church orders and travelled from as far away as Aylmer and Leamington to attend a Taylor Swift concert in Toronto this weekend. “I’m going to hear about […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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