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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Local Band Royal Canoe to be Knighted by Queen Elizabeth II

June 15, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local indie rock sensations Royal Canoe, who are currently touring North America in support of their upcoming album Something Got Lost Between Here and the Orbit, have drawn the attention of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Hockey Players Forbidden from Completing ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick’

June 12, 2016 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK A minor hockey association in a predominantly Mennonite town has decided to officially forbid players from completing the infamous ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick.’ “We don’t mind people going two-thirds of the way into the […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Totally Ruins Concert By Singing Along

June 8, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Elbert Unrau, 58, of the Steinbach area nearly started a riot at the James Taylor concert on Friday by singing along loudly with every song. All 7,000 people in attendance at the MTS Centre […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Declares Himself ‘Greater Than Muhammad Ali’

June 4, 2016 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Just hours after he discovered that legendary boxer Muhammad Ali had passed away, insensitive Rosenort resident Cornelius Clausen, 71, has taken to social media to declare himself “the greatest man who ever lived.” […]

Unger Suspicion

Bob Dylan Set to Release “Even Slower Train Coming” Album

June 1, 2016 Andrew

MALIBU, CA After turning 75 this week, legendary folk-rock artist Bob Dylan has decided to go back into the studio and remix some of his classic albums so they will appeal more to people his own age…and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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