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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Gangs of Nudists Swarm Winkler

September 5, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Inspired by a recent high-profile nearly-nude shopping trip at the local 7-11, swarms of nudists have taken to the streets of Winkler to express their free-spirited ways. “For decades I thought Morden was […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Honour Heritage of Labourious Spelling Today

September 4, 2017 Andrew

OUTTAWA, ON While our neighbours to the south take the day off today to celebrate the achievements of organized labour in a holiday known as ‘Labor Day,’ Canadians celebrate a completely different holiday called ‘Labour […]

Unger Suspicion

Bill Nye Totally Owned in Debate by Bible School Student

September 2, 2017 Andrew

PETERSBURG, KY After a rematch between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Creation Museum founder Ken Ham was cancelled due to scheduling conflicts, a Bible School student from rural Indiana took on Bill Nye and […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man to Challenge Floyd Mayweather

August 27, 2017 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV A Mennonite man from rural Kansas is set to become the first ever pacifist boxer this fall in a bout against world champion fighter Floyd Mayweather. Dale Friesen, 37, says he has […]

Unger Suspicion

Solar Eclipse Caused by Mennonites with Black Paint, Scientists Claim

August 21, 2017 Andrew

MARKHAM, ON Today’s rare total solar eclipse has scientists questioning previously-held theories on the origins of such phenomena. According to a recent study out of the University of Markham, the most likely cause of eclipses of this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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