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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Stash of Sears Catalogues Discovered Under Hugh Hefner’s Mattress

October 2, 2017 Andrew

HOLMBY HILLS, CA Days after the world’s most famous misogynist Hugh Hefner passed away at the age of 91, cleaning staff at the Playboy Mansion found a large stash of 1970s Sears catalogues beneath the […]

Unger Suspicion

Donald Dueck Marries Daisy, Cousin Mickey Not Invited

October 2, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After a long courtship that included numerous lovely swims through the local gravel pit, Donald Dueck, 25, of Kleefeld, and his fiance Daisy, 22, finally tied the knot in a small ceremony at an […]

Unger Suspicion

Burton Cummings to Donate His Moustache to Charity

October 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Legendary Canadian rocker Burton Cummings is set to become a little bit lighter this weekend after agreeing to shave his signature moustache and auction it off for charity. “We’re thinking his moustache could […]

Unger Suspicion

Berkeley Bans ‘Radical Mennonite Lady’ From Speaking on Campus

September 28, 2017 Andrew

BERKELEY, CA Once a bastion of free speech and liberalism, the University of Berkeley has become increasingly restrictive and conservative in recent years, banning controversial figures such as Ben Shapiro, Ann Coulter, and Milo Yiannopoulos from […]

Unger Suspicion

A List of Things Hipsters Stole from Mennonites

September 25, 2017 Andrew

Stop stealing all our best ideas, hipsters! Mennonites don’t want to be “hip.” We’ve made concerted efforts over the last few centuries to be the most uncool people you can imagine, so we’d appreciate if […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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