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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments

August 24, 2019 Andrew

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND A new study from the World Health Organization has revealed a new number one killer around the world: reading online comments. In 2018 alone, comment-reading was known to have caused more than two […]

Unger Suspicion

Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday

August 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Peter Wiebe’s cousin Kjnels from Swift Current Colony, Mexico will be starting for the Green Bay Packers as they face the Oakland Raiders in an exhibition match in Winnipeg Thursday night. “I can’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Flock to Bob Ross Exhibit

August 18, 2019 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE More than a thousand Friesens and Penners flocked to an exhibit in Omaha this week by their very favourite painter Bob Ross. “Forget Picasso and Van Gogh. Bob Ross is the man for […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau to Teach Ethics Class at Local Community College this Fall

August 14, 2019 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has just been hired to a teach a 3 credit hour Ethics course at a local community college this fall. “It’s a historical survey of ethics from […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Blames the Clintons for the ‘Suspicious Death’ of His Prized Sheep Molly

August 13, 2019 Andrew

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA A Mennonite man who wishes to remain anonymous (for obvious reasons) is blaming the Clintons for the mysterious death of his prized sheep and long-time companion Molly. “I don’t know what to say, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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