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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite MP Caught Leaving His Webcam On During Meddachschlop

April 15, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In what is certainly the most embarrassing moment in Canadian parliamentary history, a Mennonite MP left his webcam on while enjoying a lovely Sunday afternoon meddachschlop. “I’d like to apologize to everyone who […]

The Daily Bonnet

Missing Comma Causes Serious Concern for Mennonite Grandma

April 10, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Oma Kehler of Winkler was very concerned for her safety after receiving a text from her grandchild Andy that said, “Lets eat Oma.” “Oba, nay!” exclaimed Grandma Kehler. “Eating Oma? Just what will […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Through the Entire Bible Just Driving Back and Forth Between Winkler and Morden

April 4, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Klaas Bergmann, 57, of Plum Coulee has successfully completed his goal of reading through the entire Bible in a year simply by driving back and forth on Highway 14. “I made it through […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Looking Forward to Delightful Illegal Gathering this Easter

April 1, 2021 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, MB Plans are already in the works for a delightfully illegal Easter this year. The Hiebert family of Schratjlijch, Manitoba, for example, have been dutifully shopping, cooking, and otherwise preparing for their first illegal […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites are All Sharing the Same Netflix Password

March 31, 2021 Andrew

INMAN, KS A recent investigation had concluded that every single Penner, Friesen, and Funk in the state of Kansas are all sharing the same Netflix account. “It’s believed to have started with Abe Penner of […]

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