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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Select the Perfect Pair of Crocs for a Night on the Town

July 7, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Sawatzkys of North Kildonan decided to treat themselves to a night on the town this weekend and pulled up to Rae and Jerry’s Steakhouse wearing their finest Crocs. “It’s not every day […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Rock Band Releases All-Cowbell Version of ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’

July 2, 2021 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local rock band Prairie Oyster Cult just dropped their brand new single ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper: All Cowbell Version’, which rose to the top of the Goshen rock charts. “I’ve always thought that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Relatives Rush to Manitoba Where There’s Air Conditioning

July 1, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The mass exodus seems to be reversing itself, as thousands of Mennos from the Fraser Valley are flocking back to Manitoba where homes come equipped with luxuries such as you know, like, air […]

The Daily Bonnet

Supersite Workers Promise Not to Comment on Your Farmer’s Tan

June 26, 2021 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Workers at southern Manitoba vaccine supersites have been offered three weeks in “sensitivity training” including a full week program on resisting the urge to comment on Mr. Penner’s farmer’s tan. “We know that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Oma Gets ‘Vaxxed’ Just in Time for Summer

June 24, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Oma Kornelsen was a little reluctant to “get vaxxed yet” but was convinced after she saw the wonderful “Brazilian vax” that her daughter Linda got. “I normally don’t get vaxxed,” said Mrs. Kornelsen, […]

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