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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Fight Breaks Out Over Coat at Local Thrift Store

November 25, 2021 Andrew

SEWARD, NE There was an all out brawl at the local thrift store this afternoon after a lovely faux fur winter coat was spotted by two Mennonite women simultaneously. “I saw it first!” yelled Mrs. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Asks Doctor for ‘Tipping Exemption’

November 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Frugal local man Dan Kehler has just asked his doctor for an official certificate stating that he is “medically incapable of tipping.” “It causes me such angst to tip,” said Kehler, “and I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021

November 20, 2021 Andrew

It was a great year for Menno movies! Mask requirements meant that millions of Mennonites could attend their local movie houses without any possible way of being identified by the church elders sitting across the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lucky Mennonite Man Has Meddachschlop on a Wednesday

November 19, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Wilbert Goossen of Rosthern broke centuries of Mennonite tradition this week by having meddachschlop in the middle of the week. “Usually, Linda lays down with me for a meddachschlop on Sunday afternoon, and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Peter Reimer Comes From A Long Line of Peter Reimers

November 17, 2021 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Local man Peter Reimer, 69, always knew his father was a Peter Reimer, but after consulting with the genealogy experts at the Mennonite Heritage Village, discovered that he was descended from a line […]

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