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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things to Expect Now that a Steinbacher is in Charge

September 1, 2021 Andrew

For the first time in 151 years a Steinbacher, Kelvin Goertzen, was sworn in as Manitoba Premier this morning, and many Winnipeggers are wondering just what to expect over the next sixty days of his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Takes the Tractor to School

August 30, 2021 Andrew

From the archives BLUMENHOFF, MB The Bergmanns of the Blumenhoff area loaded up the Massey Ferguson this morning for the first day of classes at the old Blumenhoff School. “Got the Massey fired up, got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Plans to Review New Miriam Toews Book Without Even Having Read It

August 29, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though he has no intention of reading it, local man and avid Danny Orlis reader Mr. Klippenstein, 71, is absolutely certain he knows all there is to know about Miriam Toews’ new […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Grocery Store to Retain Mask Rule Just So Locals Have Something to Rebel Against

August 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The management at the local DuperMart grocery store has decided to keep the mask law in place this summer just so that local folks can have a public place to blow off some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops

August 16, 2021 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. Earl Fehr of Regina loaded up the minivan and took the family on a six-hour long drive through the countryside to look at some fields this weekend. “Hey, look, kids! Bales!” yelled […]

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