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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Invites ‘Oma Krahn’ to Christmas Gathering

December 18, 2021 Andrew

SCHANZENGRUENBACH, SK The Epp family of Schanzengruenbach have extended a warm Schanzengruenbach welcome to special guest Oma Krahn this weekend. “Ah, Oma Krahn, welcome, welcome, I see you’ve brought along the bean salad,” said Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘The Voice’ to Feature Nothing but Mennonite Family Trios from Now On

December 15, 2021 Andrew

PETTISVILLE, OH After the success of Girl Named Tom this year, NBC’s ‘The Voice’ has committed to exclusively bringing in Mennonite singing groups from now on. “The Liechtys showed us that Mennonites could sing a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends Entire Grey Cup Reading Daily Bonnet Articles

December 12, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mrs. Esther Thiessen of Winnipeg has been accused of being present in body but not in spirit at this afternoon’s Grey Cup party, where she was spotted on numerous occasions scrolling through Facebook […]

The Daily Bonnet

Read Through ‘The Best of the Bonnet’ in One Year: A Guide

December 9, 2021 Andrew

As Mennonites we love a good reading plan, especially one that provides guidance on how to read entire books in just one year. So, with the release of the long-awaited Daily Bonnet collection, many folks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Desperately Tries to Emulate Hallmark Christmas Movie

December 5, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK The Brauns of Swift Current have overcome a number of predictable obstacles this fall and are now ready to sit around an immaculately-decorated table, sing a few songs, and pretend to get […]

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