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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Newlyweds Already Planning their Upcoming Baby Shower

November 29, 2021 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN No sooner had the wedding thank you cards been mailed out than newlyweds Eleanor and Dan Bauman were inviting their friends over to celebrate the birth of the newborn child Peter. “Dan and […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Oma Krahn’ Variant Spreads Like Wildfire in Mennonite Country

November 26, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB It seems a new variant has been tailor-made to spread like wildfire in Mennonite communities. Scientists have just discovered the Oma Krahn strain, which first appeared at a soup and pie fundraiser […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight Breaks Out Over Coat at Local Thrift Store

November 25, 2021 Andrew

SEWARD, NE There was an all out brawl at the local thrift store this afternoon after a lovely faux fur winter coat was spotted by two Mennonite women simultaneously. “I saw it first!” yelled Mrs. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Asks Doctor for ‘Tipping Exemption’

November 21, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Frugal local man Dan Kehler has just asked his doctor for an official certificate stating that he is “medically incapable of tipping.” “It causes me such angst to tip,” said Kehler, “and I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021

November 20, 2021 Andrew

It was a great year for Menno movies! Mask requirements meant that millions of Mennonites could attend their local movie houses without any possible way of being identified by the church elders sitting across the […]

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