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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Desperately Tries to Emulate Hallmark Christmas Movie

December 5, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK The Brauns of Swift Current have overcome a number of predictable obstacles this fall and are now ready to sit around an immaculately-decorated table, sing a few songs, and pretend to get […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Mennonite Thriller ‘Jakes on a Plane’ is Box Office Smash

December 4, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After unprecedented demand brought on by the direct-to-betamax success of Jakes on a Plane, the Mennonite thriller is now playing at theatres across the globe. “The movie’s been a great success. People are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Manage to Have 20 Children in 15 Years

December 3, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON No, you’re not misreading the headline. Thanks to some meticulous family planning the Schellenbergs of Leamington have just welcomed their 20th child in the last 15 years. “We did the math,” said Richard […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Practices Walking on Eggshells for Upcoming Family Gatherings

December 1, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Lois Redekop, 51, has been spending a couple hours each day in recent weeks walking on eggshells in anticipation of a whole bunch of really awkward family gatherings coming up later this month. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Man in Denial that He’s from Jantsied

November 30, 2021 Andrew

JANTSIED, MB Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Mr. Friesen of jantsied is utterly convinced that he’s from ditsied. “I don’t know what’s wrong with that man,” said Mr. Wiebe standing firmly in ditsied. […]

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